Seven silly seasonal anecdotes

This year has brought us an eclectic range of weather with snow in spring and warmth in the winter. Here are seven silly anecdotes about the weather and change of seasons.
 

No, I’m not walking on string-cheese stilts. These are just my first bare legs of the season.
@sassycurmudgeon (Una LaMarche)

We use a really strong sunblock when we go to the beach with the kids. It’s SPF 80: You squeeze the tube, and a sweater comes out.
Lew Schneider

Don’t knock the weather. If it didn’t change once in a while, nine tenths of the people couldn’t start a conversation.
Kin Hubbard

As we waited for a bus in the frosty weather, the woman next to me mentioned that she makes a lot of mistakes when texting in the cold.
I nodded knowingly. “It’s the early signs of typothermia.”
Phil Noyes, Yakima, Washington

When I overheard one of my cashiers tell a customer, “We haven’t had it for a while, and I doubt we’ll be getting it soon,” I quickly assured the customer that we would have whatever it was she wanted by next week. After she left, I read the cashier the riot act.
“Never tell the customer that we’re out of anything. Tell them we’ll have it next week,” I instructed her. “Now, what did she want?”
“Rain.”

Twice a year, we change the clocks for daylight-savings time. And twice a year, my normally punctual assistant arrives late to work the Monday after we do so. I finally had to find out why. “Do you have a problem remembering to spring forward or fall back?” I asked. “Oh, no,” she said, pouring herself a cup of coffee. “What gets to me is staying up until 2 a.m. to change my clock.”
— Contributed by Nancy M. Payne

Why does moisture destroy leather? When it’s raining, cows don’t go up to the farmhouse yelling, “Let us in! We’re all wearing leather! We’re going to ruin the whole outfit here!”
Jerry Seinfeld